I succeeded in my quest to find a feminist workout

talking tarot #54: Eight of Cups and reversed Five of Wands supporting me in uncovering my story of decolonising fitness.

Jun 08, 2025

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Some of you may remember back in 2021 I wrote a blog called 'my quest to find a feminist workout' and I promised a part 2... Here it is 4 years later, divinely on time.

I’ve succeeded in this quest not because I found the perfect feminist workout or fitness instructor. As you may know I centre anti-perfectionism so even this inquiry is outdated! It is because I decolonised my ways of being. I hinted at this finding in my 2021 blog however I was not aware, at that time, that turning inward toward the Self instead of trying to find the perfect feminist workout externally was exactly what I needed. I’ll explain.

Thanks for reading Teacups! This post is public so feel free to share it.

First, here’s an extract from my previous blog - content warning losing weight and the desire to be thin.

Since lockdown I’ve had time to critically reflect about so many aspects of my life, particularly around self-care, and I’ve made some significant (hopefully everlasting) changes. I blame the daily meditation and yoga, opening up my mind and bringing out my spiritual side (which is a whole other interesting discovery). One of the big changes I’ve made is cancelling my gym membership with a local gym in York.

I started the ‘Couch to 5k programme’ over 2 months ago and am now able to run a 5k in full, which is awesome. Running is amazing. At first I did it because I wanted to know what the big hype was about, and because I wanted to maintain my current weight with the secret hope of becoming thinner. The secret hope of becoming thinner is not one that I often vocalise (or never to be honest), because I know deep down that it’s super damaging for me and for the people I would vocalise it to, but it still lingers around in my mind. Since I have started running regularly, I can say that my mental well being about this is so much healthier. When I’m running I am not thinking about losing weight, I’m thinking about whether or not I am going to make the full 5k without stopping; a huge mental and physical challenge in itself. There is a difference. A difference between me being active with the damaging intent of losing weight vs. me being active just to be active; to be mentally and physically challenged. The difference may seem small, however in terms of my mental outlook on fitness this a huge, healthy development.

Now that I’ve made this self-discovery, I visited the wonderful world of YouTube to find a woman who shared my view, and would be able to provide me with workouts (with payment, if required) that would meet my new needs of fitness. After searching for a while and not having much luck, I put a call out on my Instagram. I received many responses and from this I learnt that yes, it will be hard to find my perfect fitness guide but not impossible.

After some thought I have pulled together a list of ‘must-haves’ for my ideal feminist workout. It would:

allow me to be me, without judgement
encourage self-reflection on my place in our current fatphobic and able-bodied society, and what that means for my fitness journey
deflect comparison to others
keep me active and motivated to take part in daily activity
improve my mental health
be mentally and physically challenging
have an intersectional and inclusive approach to fitness

In short I would like a fitness instructor who is aware of and has considered intersectionality in the creation of their feminist workout and the delivery of it. This seems like a big ask but wouldn’t that be amazing?

Reading this over four years later is fascinating to me. It is clear as day what I needed as I read over the words I wrote. Instead of looking elsewhere for my list of ‘must-haves’ I needed to give them to myself. A gift from myself to myself. I reframe my must-haves as

accept myself
spend time reflecting on my relationship to fitness in our oppressive society and change my perspective. Change myself.
heal enough so that instead of comparing myself to others I see all people as a reflection of myself. I am you, you are me. So ham.
find discipline to move my body daily as an act of holistic care for myself
mentally and physically challenge myself in my practices whilst also knowing when I need to dial back the challenge to prevent injury
ensure that I approach my conversations around fitness as well as fitness itself is inclusive and intersectional.

And I’d say this reframe is because of yoga. The practice of yoga in and of itself and also all of the folks I’ve discovered online who exist at the intersection of fitness, spirituality, yoga and decolonial activism. Yoga has gifted me so much of my healing and it has particularly helped me navigate fitness and movement. Yoga decolonised my approach to fitness. I remember thinking during this period of upheaval, how can I do any exercise if I’m only doing it with the intention of losing weight? This led to me not doing much movement at all until I discovered weightlifting and yoga.

Through my yoga practice and the general practice of turning inward I realised that I could reframe my intention to move my body. I consider this process of reframing as decolonising my relationship to fitness. For example my intention changed from losing weight to building strength when I started lifting weights. I reframed cardio exercise as strengthening for my heart and lungs as they are muscles needing care too (a learning thanks to a fitness course I attended). I reframed asana as a means to support me with meditation.

Patanjali shares in classical yoga that one of the key paths to Samadhi is to sit still and meditate. Hatha yoga and other types of asana have been developed since with this intention in mind. A physical practice to support us to sit still, meditate, striving to join with Purusha (Spirit, collective consciousness). After a more energetic asana practice I notice the difference in my focus for meditation. I am ready to meditate. Also the messages and visuals I receive when I turn inward after a more vigorous practice are out of this world!

For this article we divinely received the cards Eight of Cups and Five of Wands Reversed drawn from the wonderful Queer Tarot deck.

I look at the image on the Eight of Cups card and I see the person walking away into the distance as myself. I walked away from all of the beautiful cups that I already had, except I wasn’t aware that the cups were already there and I certainly didn’t know how to access them. I concluded that the only option was for me to leave and begin my quest to find that one cup that looks like it is missing from the top row of cups. I feel this represents my initial quest to find a feminist workout. I believed that the answers were somewhere out there in the distance and there’s no chance of finding them here.

The Five of Wands can often represent conflict, conflict that needs to be worked through and not avoided. When this card is reversed it can refer to inner conflict, conflict often residing in the subconcious mind, and therefore requires much introspection and contemplation. Perhaps this card reversed is a call to decolonise our ways of being when we approach a confronting issue or topic. We are invited to firstly turn inward, to sit quietly and listen for the wisdom to unfurl, instead of immediately seeking the external. In hindsight I know that’s what I needed to do on this quest for a feminist workout.

May we treasure our ancient practices that guide us inward, that help us to decolonise our Spirit and give us the space to practice liberation in this realm.

What are your thoughts about decolonising fitness? Does my experience resonate with you? What is your relationship like to fitness? I’d love to hear your perspective.

Teacups

I succeeded in my quest to find a feminist workout

talking tarot #54: Eight of Cups and reversed Five of Wands supporting me in uncovering my story of decolonising fitness.

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